So we got a few things to go over and it's probably best to just get into it. Mainly because, well it has been a while and I feel I need to really talk about a few things. Don't worry, othing like "I give up" or "I quit", no nothing like that. Never. Just stuff that honestly, there are things I feel like I need to talk about this stuff.
It's been quite a few months. You wanted answers to the last cliffhanger, here they are.
Caleb and Cerberus: This idea came fairly early on in the cincept of this arc. There would be a traitor of a sorts among the colonists, one that was working for Cerberus. He'd have been transported back in time as a result of the crystal experiments, a result of entering the wormhole at the same time the experiment happens. I had concerns that the idea would be problematic for some, because it requires a lot of wrapping your head around time travel concepts. I always worry about time travel because it is potentially a difficult writing tool.
Time travel doesn't exist so you can just make up your rules, but in another sense there are people who understand it fairly well. At least the theoretical elements, people have gone over how it should work and as a result we have an idea what would likely happen as a result of time travel. It's hard to really reconcile the science and the desire to use a cool concept.
If done wrong, it feels like a cheat, if done right it can be interesting and illuminating, but ultimately people will question it. Even Back to the future, one of the best and perhaps most concise time travel movies in existence with very evident, clear cut, perfectly explained rules, is questioned by fans. At this point I've used three methods of time travel. I had a repeating loop, I sent people to the future and now I've created a traditional travel back in time story, but from the perspective of someone outside the experience.
That's tricky, because it requires a ton of exposition and you need to get it right or you worry about people ripping it apart. Inevitably some people will, because everything you write gets ripped apart I find. The question is how many bases you can cover and if you thinkthe science pans out.
So here's what happened, in one timeline the Cerberus agents got through the Wormhole with no problem and arrived at the exact same time and place they were supposed to. By heading back in time and undoing the paradox created by their absence, Shepard and the Master Chief erased that continuity. The reversal of time reverberated outwards, much like the loop did. Both effect the Cerberus ship, but as a result of being inside an unstable wormhole, in between dimensions, that sent Caleb, of Calvin if you prefer, and his entire team of Cerberus agents back in time. Twenty-Three years approximately as that would give them enough time to integrate into this new universe, figure out a plan of action and set things in motion. It would also give them enough time to age so that they don't look like their pictures the Alt-Future Miranda gave Shepard, making them harder to find.
So Caleb travelled to Apekis V sometime between Cerberus' integration into ONI and the fall ofsaid planet. He was there for a few years at least, getting attached to the people of the colony. He was still working for Cerberus, but he had gone native to a degree as a result. Which is why his loyalties shifted and he became more attached to the colonists than his original mission. Does this absolve him of a number of his actions? No, but I would hope it makes him more three dimensional than some of the other options open to me with the character.
I guess I settled on executing the idea in the end because it offered better potential drama and more interesting ideas for the future. Namely the other major revelation.
ONI Compromised: I knew this was gonna read like the whole "Hail Hydra" subplot in the MCU. But ifyou want to do a crossover effectively, you need to explore avenues beyond just who would win in a fight. I find that idea boring these days anyhow, I care more about interaction, not who's gun is bigger. That mentality resulted in this. What would happen if ONI met Cerberus?
My conclusion was simple, they'd see a potential ally, with technology and abilities that they believe could give them an edge. Recuits to send out and assist in various missions, people who have no history by the very nature of their origin. They never existed in this universe before, they can be whoever they want for whatever jobthey're needed to do. If the CIA had a portal to the future or another dimension, I firmly believe that this is at least one idea they'd consider, recruitment. People who would be the perfect shadow agents, no history or paper trail to lead back to them. They are non-persons, they don't exist and thus can be disavowed whenever possible.
This isn't the same as Hail Hydra, where an enemy joins the good guys and slowly corrupts them from within over the years. Cerberus came into ONI as friends, people who shared common goals and aspirations. They weren't alien agents, their ideology was similar in many areas, they weren't at war with the UNSC. And ONI, a group of people who aren't exactly the most moral folks to start with, would jump at the chance to have more help. Especially during a period where they are losing a war, badly.
Obviously this creates further dangers, possibilities, a sense of paranoia. Can we trust anyone now? Cerberus could be anywhere? They could've gotten to anyone. They have been operating in this universe, recruiting people to their cause, for years. Who knows how far they've gotten, how they've changed. They've been removed from the Illusive Man's influence for decades now. It is highly likely they've developed their own ideas about what is best for humanity. And who's to say what they intend to do when they go back home. Do they even want to go back?
Chances are I'm going to catch some ire for this. I wonder if people will criticize me for favoring Mass Effect in someway with this movie, but it's not that, I assure you. I am simply trying to look at an idea that has not been explored lately. And that, namely is the question of Cerberus and ONI itself, how similar they are and how easy it is for both to corrupt each other in some fashion. It also brings another wrinkle into the story for Shepard to deal with and honestly, the more wrinkles I can throw into the original canon of the Halo universe the better because I don't just want to novelize the games. I don't want to be lazy. I need to create, make this story my own, otherwise, what's the point of doing this as a crossover?
The Blacklist: ONI stuff leads into another thing that I honestly have been meaning to address for a long time now and I imagine I'm going to get flak here too. Fandoms tend to try and ignore the bad things that certain objects of their affection have done. Look no further than to the people who excessively defended Cerberus as an organization and were angry at how they were turned into outright villains in ME3. And this is for a group that was uncategorically evil in every respect given everything they've ever done. Now it's not hard to imagine that Halo's fandom can be iffy too.
I prefer to be honest in my affection for things and Halo is no exception. I don't just mean acknowledging flaws in story, but also in characters. Characters need flaws, short comings, quirks and issues. If they don't have these things they aren't people, they're not interesting. Yet we keep trying to excuse those flaws altogether and that's not a good thing to do. Tali was racist against synthetics. That was a flaw of hers, a problem she faces. She is also excessively self-sacrificial to an unhealthy degree at times. I love Tali, but refusing to confront these problems does nothing to enrich her character, it only makes us ignore the important thematic elements about them that their creators wish to express.
The Blacklist and putting certain movies on it, like Starship Troopers, is part of better exemplifying an element of the Halo universe that often gets ignored. One that as fans we should address, lest people who don't understand the series or don't like it can exploit to dismiss it. That fact is this, the Earth in Halo's universe is currently under a Military Industrial Regime. One that was not elected, but appointed. It is no longer a democracy. That might not be comfortable to admit, but it is the case. You can argue that they were left no choice, that this is a time of war, that aliens are intent on committing genocide on innocent people and they need to act accordingly to survive. And that might all be true, but you need to acknowledge the problematic elements as reality. If you don't, you're ignoring them, shutting out criticism and more or less confirming to people who are skeptical of the series that you don't care about outside opinion.
Zek is right, the UNSC is far from perfect. They are a military state and they have been in control for decades. They have subsisted on a state of emergency to retain power and while, yes, they do the right thing and step back when its over and the war is won, that's in the uncertain future at the moment. Who can say they will do that in the end? The very nature of Halo's universe is essentially a Starship Troopers universe for a more progressive time. Only the enemies this time aren't a hive mind, but a group of religious fanatics who feel they are ordinaed and commanded by God to murder a whole race. That's something you can get behind as an enemy.
I've heard plenty of criticisms of Halo's thematic elements, about how the Covenant being a multicultural army, however forced and indoctrinated, while the Marines and the Spartans are a strict, uniform, militaristic culture, suggests some rather problematic things. And I don't agree with that, at all, but I have to acknowledge the elements that feel out of place. That being that the UNSC is indeed a fairly authoritarian state. And as a result, they would likely prohibit certain acitivites in order to maintain order, morale and confidence in the mission.
A blacklist just makes sense, why would you allow anti-war material and anti-military material like the "Starship Troopers" movie to get into the hands of the public? It could only serve to make people question their leaders during a time of crisis. And while that may seem necessary, it is a scathing indictment regardless. The fact that ONI itself is allowed to operate like it does is another element. Sure, they're like the bad guy CIA to the UNSC's FBI, but ONI is supposed to answer to the UNSC. They're not outranked. The UNSC allows them to operate like they do because ONI gave them the Spartans, and as cruel and monstrous as their creation is, it has helped them. So they let them act like they do.
I feel the military of the UNSC would have to function on a different level because their culture would be different. They would react on a level that requires them to think in terms of logistics, what can be done, what should be done and what we can't allow. The UNSC is a militaristic culture and I feel ignoring that does the fandom no good service. We need to confront the hard truth, its the only way we're going to properly talk about Halo without looking like we're dismissing the criticisms.
So this is my way of addressing that, Halo is not in my mind a proponent of fascism. I don't beleive that for a second and I feel it is unfair to claim that. I believe, it is a commentary on those elements, of militaristic actions and reaction. The Spartans exist as the result of a crime against humanity, but they in turn save humanity. Can something good come out of an evil act? Those are the deeper questions I feel Halo is capable of discussing. And we can start by confronting the reality that the UNSC is not itself clean, it has an ugly side.
That is what the point of this entire arc is, confronting the fact that the heroes we have been following, the UNSC, the Marines, the Spartans, Shepard himself, are defending humanity through the service of a non-democratic military regime. One that regularly can decide to trade lives if it feels it has to for the greater good. It has been in a state of perpetual war for almost thirty years, the civilians are no doubt feeling that by now. The military runs their lives even if they don't serve, what they can watch, what they can do, where they can live. It is understandable that many people will grow angry over this, it is inevitable that they will. And that is why the Colonists are angry. That the UNSC has assumed all this responsibility... and not only do they feel they have abused it but they didn't even have a choice in it to begin with.
"Starship Troopers" would be one thing that got blacklisted by the UNSC. I feel other forms of media would meet the same fate. Apocalypse Now, Full Metal Jacket, literally any Vietnam War movie honestly. Likely political dramas such as "All The President's Men", as well as, I think, Mercury Rising? Right up there, way up there no doubt about it. ET is probably banned because it could give kids the idea to save the alien spies who crash on their Colonies. Aliens? Also probably banned because it suggests the Marines are woefully outmatched by the xeno enemy. When you consider the blacklist possibility, a whole slew of what could be banned pops into the frame of mind and you see more clearly what the UNSC is doing and why.
War is evil, never desirable. It is terrible, true, but it is not just because it is destuctive to lives. It is destructive to livelihoods, culture and expression. Almost by design in fact. And I think that's something the characters have to confront and soon in this story if they wish to really get anywhere and figure out how to be better than what they're fighting. And trust me on this, Zek has his own lessons to learn about that exact same thing, so even while he is criticizing the UNSC, he's not being as honest with himself as he thinks he is.
Zhoc's Ultimatum: I really liked doing this scene, if only because it is such a rich bit of character interaction between all parties. Shepard, Haverson, Maisey and Zek, all confronting Snarlbeak as a unit and taking him to task. And you get to see the cracks show in Zhoc's facade, as he gets more and more frustrated, he loses the grip he has on his charming persona and it slips. He can't maintain it.
He's so used to getting what he wants, getting what he demands and desires. So when someone finally bothers to stick up to him, to tell him no, he is infuriated. Because in his mind, he is being completely charitable. He could just kill them all, he's giving them a chance. They're refusing him for no good reason other than some, in his mind, arrogant belief they can beat him. And its been so long since he's dealt with these sorts of people that he no longer knows how to deal with them. So he goes back to his early lessons, if they refuse, if they don't listen, if they intend to stand in your way... kill them. Remove them. He likes to think he hates it, that he's more civilized, but of course... no.
Getting other people to die for you for your selfish aims does not make you civilized. He thinks that he's signed away the rights of his employees, that he owns them and that's the same as loyalty. It isn't of course. They're just doing what they do for a paycheck. Zhoc thinks that puts him on the same level as the UNSC I guess, in a way. I mean, these soldiers get a paycheck, don't they? He's just like Shepard and Haverson, he deserves some respect as a result. Why shouldn't he? He's earned it. And yet, here they are, brushing him off, insulting him. So it's not just that he's being defied, as explained, it's also they aren't giving him due credit as a successful businessman. That's why he loses it at Haverson, because he feels he's being belittled, that they're trying to trick him in some manner.
At the end of the day though, deep down he knew this was going to happen and he accepted it long ago. All of this was just a means to prove to himself that he's smarter, better, wiser, that these people are doing it to themselves. It's how he keeps justifying his actions, he's got greater designs, plans, things in the works that can benefit everyone if they just let him have what he wants.
You might recognize these traits as similar in Zek... well, maybe you're not the only one. I think my favorite line is when the facade finally falls and Zhoc admits to himself that he's not at all sorry about what he's about to do. He doesn't relish it, he's not proud of it, but at this point he's given up pretending it bothers him. So he admits he's not sorry and initiates his plan. So where does that take us and Zek more specifically? We'll have to see.
Past Few Months: It has felt like forever and yet it doesn't feel as such. How can time pass so quickly and yet feel like it is an eternity? I don't know. I don't think anyone in my family knew what was going to happen when the virus started getting wider spread. We figured it would get under control, but it didn't. And my belief in the ability of people to understand and accept obvious facts in the interest of their own safety was shattered as it got worse and worse.
I've probably made it no secret that I am not... a fan of certain political entities or a certain current administration. I always knew it would be bad, I never knew it would get this bad. This willfully ignorant and monstrously uncaring. I kept faith in individuals, but found it harder to believe anyone would do friggin anything substantial to stop it. That anyone would finally use this as the breaking point to say enough is enough. And my faith in anyone's ability to finally admit that something was seriously wrong is gone. My faith in the capability of people to be intelligent about science, about reality is severely broken.
Worse yet is my faith in authority. I have tremendous respect for law enforcement, for the military, these past few weeks have broken that. I still maintain that there are good people in those lines of work. I still believe that they want to do good. But it is now impossible for me to truly claim that with certainty. I watched a man die, like we all watched, pleading for his dead mother while a man used his badge to slowly kill him. And people had the gall, the audacity to claim that "it's just one guy" or "let the system work" and I couldn't take it. I kept watching more and more abuse of power as a result of what happened next. I had hoped that this would be the moment the police would prove they were better, that they'd conduct themselves better, and some did... but more decided to let the monster out. Maybe they justified it as necessary, maybe they said to themselves they had to, but the more it went on the more I saw that excuse as pathetic, inadequate and tactless.
I still have respect for those professions, that respect comes with a higher than normal expectation. A standard they need to abide by. Is policing a hard job? Yes. Does that give them the authority to be above the law? To have a different subset of rules to abide by? That this quantified immunity allows them to escape charges for crimes they commit on the job because it wouldn't be fair if we judge them like regular citizens? No, if any other person had done the things I'd seen these cops do on recorded video they'd have be hauled off. Instead they dragged their feet and it took a goddamn outcry of screaming and anger to convince people in power to actually do their damn jobs! I don't condone violent action, but when it is the only way to make people listen I understand it. I get the motivation and I cannot judge it.
I want police to be held to the standard heroes should be afforded. That we can trust implicitly. So far all I have seen recently is them not acting like heroes, but thugs. And its disgusting. I wish they were better, I expected them to be better.
I think all of this has hit me emotionally hard and it became increasingly difficult to write. That's probably not the only reason for such a delay in getting the new chapter out, but it played a role I feel. I was just so emotionally taxed, I couldn't think properly, I couldn't write properly. I know that none of this has passed entirely, but my thoughts just couldn't compile the way I wanted them to.
More directly, my issue was with what I was writing. I write a lot about military action and what not, a lot of characters caught up in war and enforcement actions. Specifically in this arc alone, I'm dealing with a bunch of military officers/personnel who are engaged in a sort of policing action. You have a bunch of people with a legitimate greivance against them and I was writing about a possible reconciliation between the two groups. I guess I wasn't sure if I was in the right frame of mind for that. The Marines aren't Cops, and I like to think my characrters, fictional as they are, are an idealized version of what we expect people like them should act. But is that what people want right now? Do they really want me writing about "Good Marines"? Can I write them without looking like I'm ignoring the real world pain? I still believe in what Police are meant to do, what soldiers are meant to be, but it's hard to reconcile at times with reality.
I heard a lot of people calling for Milkes Morales' father to no longer be a cop. A few probably suggested we stop creating positive images of cops altogether, because it doesn't reflect a lot of reality. And while none of the discussions got into soldiers, I think the discussions touches a bit on that concerning how militarized the police have become. So part of me has been trying to process that element as well.
I wasn't sure what to do. In a way I still ain't. It's not easy to work through this sort of thing. I only know, this isn't going to stop me from writing what I love. What I want to write, what inspires me to write. I still believe in heroes, maybe by setting an example in fiction, without dismissing the ugly, I can make a case for a better world, one where police of all kinds do not answer every situation with force. That's the real issue I think, the real problem. And maybe writing a world where I feel that concept is a reality can make it so. I don't know, I don't have all the answers, but I like to think maybe I can help somehow, someway, through my work.
I'm sorry if this all wasn't what you were expecting for this sort of behind the scenes, I hope it hasn't angered any of you or upset you. If it has, I'm sorry, but sadly we don't live in that kind of world yet where we can avoid that I think. We're forced to confront it, I know I'm forced to confront it regularly these days and I just felt like I needed to offer an explanation. I do not intend to stop writing, not this story or anything else in the future. This is what I want to do, I love it. And if you want to stay with me, I'll be happy to have you along for the ride. I can only hope that, as I continue to write, I can uphold my own values to the best of my ability. That I can help express what I feel is important in the world, what heroism means to me and hopefully to more people out there.
Anyway, this got deeper and longer than expected. I hope you got something out of it. And I promise, I will endeavor to be the best I can be in terms of what I write and what I express. I hope you are all staying safe, staying strong and that you're doing okay over all. And if you're not, it's ok if you're not. Just know, you're not alone in this and I hope I can bring some small bit of comfort to you all. I really do. I do this to make people happy, and i hope I've accomplished that every day I publish something or write something on this site or in the future anywhere else.
Thank you for your time and I hope the next chapter comes sooner than this one. I am eternally grateful to you all and always will be.
No comments:
Post a Comment