I think a few people thought I was putting myself down a bit more than I actually was to be honest, so before I start let me assure you, I'm just trying to boost my spirits without swelling my head. I didn't like the idea of splitting this one up, but the chapter just got so long and the time between updates had been sufficient enough that it seemed necessary. I'm hopeful I'll be fixing that soon as I continue the work going forward. For now, lets talk a little about what happened in this chapter.
Retz and Asexuality: Since this came up so early in this installment and it's been a bit of a subject, I feel the need to speak about this. When I was developing Retz, I decided that it made most sense that he was Asexual, specifically AroAce. This had nothing to do with anything specific, it just made the most sense for his personality. To me, as a character, Retz read as being on the Asexual Spectrum. I think a part of it had to do with his more professional standards in contrast to Zek. Mostly though I just wanted to avoid turning Retz into a Smithers for Zek. The Gay Toady who basically worships their boss from the sidelines. And Smithers is funny, but I didn't want that to become Retz's shtick. I wanted him to be a partner, not an employee for one. But mostly I just wanted there to be no doubt that Retz was doing these things purely out of platonic friendship and writing him, at least in my mind and in the background, as asexual helped me better place their relationship in context during my writing sessions.
My general policy when it comes to writing concerning orientation is what fits best for the character. Generally I don't try to decide what someone's romantic relationships until I've better understood the chemistry of all involved. Preferences, I usually figure that out along the same process.
For a lot of the Mass Effect characters, my ideas on that were already settled. My original ones, less so. I wrote Nelanax from the start to pansexual of course, but her personality made it inevitable that would come out fairly quickly. Retz being how he is, a professional liar and former spy, would not reveal that information willingly. So I mostly kept it hidden even if I had privately told myself "Retz is AroAce" in the back of my mind.
So, why did I decide to reveal it now? A few reasons. Let's work through them.
To begin with, the impetus was another story that released recently that revealed a certain character I really like a lot to be AroAce. I didn't agree with this decision and felt it didn't match my own perceptions of the character. However, despite this, I saw fairly quickly overtime that a lot of people were receptive to this and more importantly, to myself, I could see that this wasn't just a sudden random decision on part of the creative team. They truly wanted to speak to something greater and make it mean something. There was a lot of courage in the story and it inspired me to do something I had meant to do a long time ago.
No, I'm not AroAce, nor am I anywhere within the LGBT rainbow. I am very clearly straight and cis-gendered. But I was still able to find meaning and connection to the story that gave me the strength to be honest to someone about my very close feelings. Which helped me lift a weight off my shoulders I've been carrying for years. Just as importantly, it confirmed in my mind that nothing had ultimately changed about the character being AroAce. They were still who they were and I still loved them as much as any fan did. It wouldn't change how I wrote them in the future or how I viewed them personally, but I would have to accept that this was the canon for the character in the main universe and accept that my personal view was different from that.
More relevant to our discussion, I realized that not revealing Retz's true self to readers was doing them and the character a disservice. I was not letting Retz reach his full potential by being open with who he was and I was treating readers like idiots, however unintentionally, but not admitting to the obvious and just tiptoeing around a lot of the stuff that makes Retz who he is. His Asexuality is not the only thing that defines him, but it is significant enough that I decided to label him as such when I created him.
Secondly, upon realizing that I came to the conclusion that I did not want to be like a certain author of a certain wizard school book series that felt they could only admit to which of their characters were gay long after the books themselves were done and said characters, in story, were dead. Not admitting Retz's sexuality now could be misconstrued as an act of cowardice later. That I only admitted it after all the books were done to win brownie points. Admitting it in story, in writing, directly, is what actual representation is like and I will be damned if I decide to find any commonalities with that certain writer at this juncture. I will not choose the most politically convenient path when it comes to the writing of my characters. Screw that, not in these times.
Thirdly, I wanted to make it very clearly about my stance on the subject of representation. I fully believe in representation. I'm not going to say that I'm some sort of hardcore hype progressive ally here, that's giving myself too much credit I don't deserve. But I do believe in people being allowed to see themselves in the stories they watch, read or play. I'm hardly unique in that position and I have my own way of accomplishing that. I also will admit I have my own priorities concerning who I'd like to see more of in fiction given my personal experiences, but at the very least I shouldn't be an obstacle. Admitting to Retz's AroAceness was, in my opinion, the best choice to make. Not as a statement of that position, but an effort to live up to that personal belief.
I did have questions for myself about whether this was the appropriate place to reveal it. Retz wasn't exactly in a place to talk about his feelings or acknowledge them. The last thing I wanted was to make this feel clunky or forced. Luckily, I had Zix around to be herself and push the right button. That way it would come out quickly, pretty much all at once, as a show of emotion. Something I felt was important to show as well to avoid the stereotype of Asexuals being a bunch of robots who don't feel anything. Retz clearly does, which was the overriding point of the scene at the end of day. To show why Retz feels how he does about the Syndicate and why he sided with Zek over them long ago.
And I luckily also had Kasumi nearby to show some actual compassion after a moment of brutal prejudicial language. What Zix said was pretty hurtful and crude. I imagine it's soured many of you to her point of view and rightfully so. As I'll explain later, she is not a good person. Kasumi is though and she'd never want one of her friends to feel less about themselves. So it made sense for Kasumi to assure Retz that she still accepted him. Which gave him a chance to speak more candidly, for a moment, about his feelings... before returning to the here and now and what was important.
I did my best to keep the scene focused on Retz's character and why I feel is most important for his own journey. Zix revealing why he can't go back to the Syndicate, his outburst to explain why he's not ashamed of who he is, and Kasumi to show that Zek isn't the only person who accepts him. All of these points are relevant going forward on Retz's journey and some of Zek's as well. I hoped it felt like a natural moment or at least a narratively significant one during a lot of plot heavy stuff.
Before I close out this section, I'd like to clarify something that I think a few people misinterpreted. Retz was not conditioned to be Asexual. He was concerned that had happened to him, but not for the reasons you think. The Syndicate, as shown with Zix, doesn't want their agents to actually BE asexual. They want them to be Sociopaths. The conditioning they undergoing is supposed to make them bereft of moral fiber. In their eyes, an Asexual Agent is someone who has lost a significant tool in their arsenal, that being seduction.
As far as the Syndicate was concerned, as long as Retz couldn't reliably fake attraction because he doesn't really feel any romantic or sexual attraction to begin with, he was broken and for a long time Retz worried that it was his fault because something with the conditioning went wrong. He absorbed the wrong lesson, he learned the wrong thing, he failed in some way and he tried to fix himself... but couldn't. When he eventually realized that no, he was just like this, he was always like this and no one had made him like this... the Syndicate just scoffed at him and tried to fix him themselves. Which only made him feel like he was even more broken. Then Retz met Zek, who upon learning Retz was not interested in romance or sex like he was, did not care and still accepted him regardless. That wasn't the full reason as to why Retz chose Zek over the Syndicate, but it was the first domino in a long line that led to Retz doing so.
So no, Retz was not conditioned or groomed or anything. He IS Asexual and was always Asexual. This was not something forced on him, this just is him. And I would hope, by now, that most people who read my work understand my position on these matters. So with that said, let's continue.
Kesa and the Spartans: Kesa is an interesting little one off character. While she probably won't show up against after this arc, utilizing her in this manner gave me the opportunity to actually feature a part of Sangheili society we rarely see, the female half. We have seen a few female sangheili in Halo, sure, but they don't get much focus. While the Covenant's repressive ideology plays into that, most of the issue does come down it seems to some blind spots in Halo's world building. To be honest, it's the same reason we didn't get female Turians for so long, despite them clearly existing. Halo doesn't want to make too many different models for the enemy characters, so they limited it to specifically dude versions of their aliens.
Female Sangheili are not meek damsels though, just because they don't have gaming models as much as they should, doesn't mean they've been left out of the lore. They are capable warriors, but they defend the Homefront and generally deal with political affairs. Kesa clearly isn't any less of a fighter than her male brethren, and she certainly doesn't lack for religious fervor despite the disadvantages the Covenant Religion places on her. The good news is that she's still practical enough to know when to not place her pride above her own survival. And I think that's pretty in line with the lore and my own understanding of both the sangheili as a species and in special reference to their female population.
I did my best to show her leading by example, to make it more believable that these other aliens, mostly civilians who have no real fighting experience, would follow her. I mean, if she is sangheili and she's clearly actually capable and knows how to fight, they will likely defer to her. However, I think what actually made them follow her more implicitly was how she spoke to them, which Linda assisted with.
That scene was neat to write because you don't get a chance to have the Spartans be introspective like that often. In many cases they're just thinking about their mission, never the wider implications of the state of the world. I like at the very least that both Halo 4 and Infinite have tried to show that Master Chief has greater dimension as a character and a person. Beyond just the faceless player avatar that everyone accuses him of being. So this was Linda's chance, to finally recognize how the Covenant isn't just bad for humanity, but it's also damaging their own people more than helping.
I think that's what a lot of this part of the arc is about, the Spartans coming to terms with the fact that their experiences with Commander Shepard and his team have opened their minds a little. They're still devoted to defeating the Covenant, but they're more aware of the fact that the Covenant isn't exactly a good thing for anyone. Its destruction isn't just about their survival but also the potential freedom of everyone ensnared by it.
Kesa herself is probably thinking a few contradicting thoughts about her situation. She is relying on the assistance of a bunch of human, demons to be precise, to save her. That's not something I think many sangheili can so easily accept. It's going to weigh on her mind the more she thinks of it and by the time she gets back home it will be very close to the point in the canon when the schism begins. Perhaps that newfound skepticism, however small and subconscious will keep her and her family alive.
The Ex-Banished: To better elaborate on the Banished being brought into this story, again it was the idea of better expanding the world and connecting a lot of Halo's greater lore into a single story. Not to the point it becomes unmanageable or fanwakery, just to better showcase the greater depth of the story of Halo that tends to be overlooked by a lot of people as generic or uninteresting. Something I've made very clear I don't agree with.
The Banished are part of that, a group of various alien species that belong to the Covenant but don't follow them. In fact they reject them outright and are fighting them. They're not friends to humanity, but they aren't dogmatic genocidal murderers. They're basically more akin to a conquering horde, Mongols or Vikings. They aren't a government though, they're mercenaries and they have their own agenda that seems far less rigid and more complex in general. They're not the same kind of dogmatic evil, they understand the Forerunners better as ancient powerful alien beings. Atriox is less in awe of them and sees their technology for what it is, a means to increase his power. He's a smarter opponent than the Covenant, but no less dangerous or ambitious.
And these guys decided to screw it, we're not getting paid enough.
Frankly, any mercenary band is prone to these sorts of actions. When you're governed by personal power and greed, you tend to fall into this trap a lot. And given what I've seen of the Brutes in Infinite, during a period they think Atriox is gone, they're not above being opportunistic. So when presented a chance to make more money for themselves than ever before, they took it and sought out someone equally as greedy and ambitious as them, but in no position to oppose them directly. You do not double cross Brutes after all. Snarlbeak would never be so stupid. He is going to take advantage of things, but he isn't stupid enough to not take the opportunity presented or outright refuse it. You don't want to piss off a group of people who were willing to double cross Atriox. They're either crazy or they can back up their claim somehow.
Will the Banished Proper ever show up in this story? Eh, it depends honestly. We still have at least three whole games to get through here, let's not overdo it with shoving the Banished into the latter two Halo games of the original trilogy or Mass Effect 3. We're gonna have enough antagonists to tangle with at that point. But they're out there, they exist and they probably aren't unaware of Shepard and his crew. So we'll see how it goes.
Spartan Fighting Sequences: I always get a kick out of doing these, especially when I can involve Mass Effect characters in them. The unique fighting style of both franchises mixes and matches narratively very well. I can have the Spartans showcase how they think on their feet and co-ordinate together. While I can also show how people like Grunt and Samara function within their unit. I think Grunt and Samara work pretty damn well with the Spartans, given how they're both powerhouses in terms of physical strength and biotics respectively. It creates some interesting dynamics as well, seeing how a bunch of aliens work alongside the Spartans. And when you throw in Kesa and her revolting slaves into the mix, you get what I feel is a very fun sequence where you get to show off a lot of the individual strengths of the characters. It's nice to fill out the more defined roles of the Master Chief and his Spartans, how each of them completes the squad in a variety of ways. I'm going to do my best to not lose that even as I try to give other characters as big a spot light as well.
The Black Chorka: So, we've revealed what Zix was after, the holy grail of Ichor so to speak. The Black Chorka was something I was developing for a while. A massive version of the creatures I've been using so much to flesh out the kig-yar's pirating past. One with a very important connection to their history, myths and legends. It would be important enough for Snarlbeak to defend at all costs and for the Syndicate to acquire no matter what.
Sound a bit familiar? It should. There are thematic connections between the Black Chorka and the Astral Cutlass that are relevant to things going forward. For our purposes though, we'll just focus on the person who knew about it and wanted it most, Zix.
This was her plan, to get down here, get to the Black Chorka, and find a way to get it out. Hopefully without Retz or anyone finding out, using the various other lies about undisclosed Snarlbeak plans to obfuscate her objective. She as hoping to get the Black Chorka loaded onto a ship before anyone could really complain about it. Maybe slip away during the confusion of the escape. She was hoping at least one of the lies she told would get Retz's attention and make him stop digging. She didn't realize that she had alienated Retz so much that he'd never trust her to not be hiding something. So he just kept digging.
That's the impetus for what happens next. Zix is a believer. Everything she does, she believes it is for the good of the Kig-Yar way of life. Because to her, the Syndicate is just that, the Kig-Yar way of life. If it helps the Syndicate it helps all of their people, no matter how many lies or how much blood spilt. Every villain thinks they're the hero of their own story, Zix just doesn't really believe that anyone is a hero ultimately. Just some people are better at not letting personal vendettas or emotional hang-ups getting in the way of practical, fair, even-handed and justifiable business practices. Within the guidelines of course.
The Syndicate could be what she thinks it is for real, a source to preserve the true cultural heritage of the Kig-Yar people and defend themselves from Covenant hegemony. But it's just subverted the means of its enemy to justify itself at this point. It really is like the Mafia in a lot of respects, at one time it served a noble purpose, but at the moment they just care about maintaining what they have now, a status quo of power. And as a result, they've stagnated their people just as much as the Covenant have.
But they're still pirates, they're still more free than any Jackal pressed into Covenant service. So in their minds they're the best option and their way works so don't question them. Zix doesn't, but at least she believes in it. At least she feels she has purpose and because of that she can sleep well at night.
Her problem is Retz throwing all that away for a person who she thinks is wasting his life and dragging everyone around him down with him. Zek to her is worse than Snarlbeak, because Zek doesn't seem to believe in anything and will abandon something if it just doesn't work out his way. He was a regular pirate until the Covies caught him. Then he worked for the Covenant until it no longer suited him. He had a relationship with Taq until it started to complicate matters. And while he regrets joining the Covenant and he regrets abandoning Taq, Zek's lack of stable commitment is a problem for him. Constantly only looking out for himself in the end and feeling sorry when he fucks up. To Zix it's pathetic, either own up to what you are or don't bother.
And Retz is with him rather than with something that gives him purpose. Perfectly fine with letting Zek waste his life away out of obligation to their friendship. Zek has no purpose, no cause, no real plan beyond get rich and stay there. And it's probably going to destroy him in the end if he keeps going down that road. Becoming just as bad as either Zhoc or the Syndicate, but without any of the real ambition or goals that make them a threat.
And the idea that Retz is hurting his friend by not confronting him on that... it doesn't sit well with Retz. At the same time, there's nothing really wrong with Zek wanting to just live a happy life. Remember, that's all Zvasz wanted for her and Zhoc before he became Snarlbeak after her death. The thing is, Zek has a very self-destructive view about himself and his relationships. He doesn't want to change, he resists it, he's stunting himself and Retz hasn't really challenged him on it.
Everyone is being forced to come to terms with how things are different now, how they're working with former enemies, how their goals have shifted. Zek just wants to go back to how things were before he was forced to join the Covenant. And Retz hasn't argued that point despite kinda knowing they can't. As far back as the first chapter, he kinda knew that Zek wanting things to go back to just being regular pirates wasn't really possible. That's just how it is.
But all the same, Retz believes in his friend and he believes that there is more to him than what Zix thinks and will defend him and his new family on the Fallen Serpent. Not out of a desire to justify his life's choices so much as to make sure she doesn't get to define those choices. However, this isn't an issue he can avoid forever and he probably has to think about it some more.
All For His Grog: Zek finishes his fishing trip with Varvok in an explosive bang to close out our Jaws Homage. I think an exploding plasma cannon is probably a bit more accurate than an exploding scuba tank honestly, although I admit the similarity is very similar. I think it sorta helps that Zek is such a fan of the movie since he watched it not long ago that he decided that he was going to throw his all into basically becoming Quint for this mission. It's probably why he got scared that he was about to be eaten as he was leaning way too deep into the part.
I think ultimately though what separates it from just being a homage is Zek coming to realization, probably not the best revelation, but at least it's something beyond his own selfish arrogance and reckless bravado. He's here because what Snarlbeak wants to do is appauling to him and he'll do anything to stop it. Sure, it's not the same as being FOR something, but it does show that Zek can think outside of himself, even if it is just for revenge against perceived slights. That and he kinda sounds a bit like Zhoc even as he derides his.
The song is clearly adapted from "All For Me Grog" a sea shanty pub song that it frankly one of my favorites and it just felt like it fit Zek the best. Zek is a drunkard, he knows he's a screw up, he can accept it because at least he knows what he wants in the end. It's not exactly a very self-affirming look at himself, it's probably not healthy, but at least his drunken pity is juxtaposed with his final triumph over the Razorfins. So congrats on this one, Zek. You're a screw up, and screwed up, but he pulled this off all the same. Take a relax swim back to shore on this one.
I think that's all for now, although I'd like to say as much fun as I had with my little Jaws homage, try to remember that Sharks are as much a part of our planet as any other creature and a lot of species are currently at risk. None of this story was an endorsement of mistreating sharks or advocating for their extinction. I think that should go without saying, but you never know. Some people can take your words the wrong way. So it's better to be clear than to let people make assumptions about where you stand. Thank you all, and I'll see you next time.
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