Alright, so after presenting my mission statement and giving the story some time to breath, I've decided to talk a little to you all about some things concerning the story's conception, the process of a lot of the ideas, and how things progressed to where they are currently. That and I need a break from playing "Heretic + Hexen" for awhile.
So, let's talk about RJ's first few adventures in Hell.
Designing a Dragon: I've talked a good deal about RJ's Design, but maybe I should go into deeper length here. The point of the design was to mirror the show while still creating a dragon. I really wanted RJ to be a dragon to better differentiate him from the typical Isekai protagonist, who is almost always a human male. RJ needed to look like a monster, and in that respect he could not look sexy, or normal cute, at best he could be ugly cute. It would distinguish him from what is expected of a protagonist of his nature and also add some extra dynamics concerning his power set and how he relates to the rest of the cast.
The thing about Hazbin Hotel's design philosophy, in regards to Sinners, is more than just their appearance being indicative of how they died. You are not meant to really like how you look as a sinner. Something is supposed to be off, or wrong, or ironic. You are being punished. And your appearance is meant to remind you of that.
So in RJ's case, his fantasy of being a dragon is switched on its head. He does not look majestic or cool, he looks like, well... a goofy goober. He's also an awkward looking Wyvern, which presents greater challenges. Such as, he can't use his arms and fly at the same time. He has challenges as a result of his body in this way.
Also, the asymmetry was key, bot in the eyes and the horns. One eye was an eagle's, the other a snake. One horn pointed up, the other turned inward. There needs to be something that bothers RJ every time he looks in the mirror. And, as explained in the chapter, he really hates that his face doesn't line up perfectly.
Adhering to the Hellaverse design, my next step was actually making him look aesthetically pleasing even if, to the character, he wasn't ideal. I based a lot of his face and design aesthetic off Looney Toons Characters, like Wile E Coyote as well as Don Bluth's dragon Singe. There were other artistic inspirations, including Figment, Smaug, Batty from Ferngully. In general, my idea was to create a dragon that was not intimidating looking, that evoked a neurotic nerd. To best evoke his hard luck, everything goes wrong, persona.
The headset was an important aspect of his design as well, considering he can't take it off. This is only its first form, as RJ will be upgrading it over time. Right now its version one, Busted Up, it's broken, cracked, burnt to a crisp, and in the worst possible condition. It also makes him look a little more silly, because he's stuck wearing a damn helmet. Just adding to the accident prone nature of the character.
Given RJ is also stuck wearing what he died with, I went with what a gamer, like myself, would probably be wearing at the time. So a T-Shirt and sweatpants. And since Hazbin Hotel is primarily a musical, I decided to emphasize his music preference with said shirt and made it for Iron Maiden. Drawing that album art though can get trying, which is why I'm glad you don't really see it on the cover art.
The color scheme was a bit tricky. I went with general dragon colors, green and orange. With some yellow and purple thrown in as well. I decided to throw in some red as well, given that red features prominently in Hazbin Hotel's color scheme. I think it helps RJ stand out from the main cast, without completely removing him from them.
RJ of course looked fairly different in his first iteration of his design. Overtime i've refined him, fixed his markings, his brown, how his horns look, I've tried to remember he has those little fins that stick out the sides of his nose. It gives him a prominent look there and evokes traditional dragon designs. Have a look for yourselves and see how he compares to the RJ you see on the cover art.
Dropping In: As depicted in the pilot, sinners literally fall into Hell. And I don't think anyone has really said that's changed. That and the immediate aftermath presented a lot of opportunities. Primarily, fleshing out how someone would react to being sent to Hell. A lot of this played off of Isekai Tropes, as the Limbo scene deliberately called out. RJ thinks he knows what story he's getting stuck in, which he already hates and is annoyed with. Only to find out, no, it's not really that kind of Isekai story and he's gonna wish it was in a hot second. That was a deliberate choice to set up the comedy for the story. Referential and subversive, with a good heap helping of slapstick.
I added in some body horror of course, although I owe a lot of that to Crow who urged me to get creative with the transition from human soul to draconic sinner. I drew a lot upon Werewolf and Vampiric transformations for the scene in question, trying to put myself in that position. How would it feel to be seemingly on fire, falling, while your body is transformed into something wholly alien? Frankly, it would feel really gross and weird. And possibly painful. So I did my best to capture that.
Then of course I added onto the humiliation with RJ hitting every little thing possible on his way down to the bottom of the barrel. It was all about properly outlining the exact amount of hits to take. How ridiculous can this get before the reader asks "Come on! He hits that too?" Luckily the scaffold launching him presented a believable means to enable RJ to also hit that billboard, as I really wanted to get that in as a final gag just before RJ hits the pavement.
From that point on, placing RJ in constant peril was paramount. I needed people to see just how out of place he is here. That he is completely unequipped to deal with being in Hell. Everyone is instantly tougher than him, no one is interested in helping him out. Given how awful Hell's sinners are in the show, it was easy enough to make it believable that they wouldn't treat someone like. Especially someone who is new and is trying to insist he doesn't belong here.
I borrowed a bit from the show to depict how bad on the regular Pentagram City is, but I added in some Halloween Horror Nights fun to it. That felt like the most one to one comparison I could make here, a Theme Park Halloween event... but it's real. From being accosted by a flasher drug deal to eating human flesh in a burger, the whole point was to make RJ reach a breaking point. Where the fear and horror would boil over into rage. So I just kept thinking of how to push him. How to make this day worse and worse. I suppose it was another bit of Isekai story critique. Usually, Isekai protagonists adapt rather quickly to their new world, or figure out something that makes them super special awesome and enables them to defend themselves.
Not RJ. He had no time to think, because everything awful is thrown at him all at once.
The final straw was the joke I was a bit worried would get more criticism, the Rape Bus. Hellaverse has quite a bit of a reputation concerning Sexual Assault. A good deal unwarranted or misrepresented, but it is there. I did not want to be accused of making light of the subject myself, but I also did not want to play it safe either. If it was just a Torture Bus or a Murder Buss, yeah that would be bad, but the immediate terrified, panicked reaction and the subsequent anger resulting from it isn't as bad. That's just standard stuff for Hell. RJ has seen people murdering and torturing folks. A bus that does that is just more of the same.
It had to be a Rape Bus to fully cement in RJ's mind that this place is awful. It's everything he despises. Everything he hates. And he wants out. He wants away from these horrible, shitty people. He has no interest in connecting with them, no empathy for them, they deserve to be here, he doesn't. So the second he learns of the nature of the bus he's on and escapes from it, only to be accosted by another sinner intent on doing him wrong, he finally snaps back. It finally drives him over the edge. And you don't get that if they were just going to murder RJ or torture him.
And the thing is, RJ has to be at this point... because it makes encountering Extermination Day all the worse.
I wanted RJ to drop in on Extermination for a single reason. So he'd experience Hell in every aspect of it. Both the cruelty of its sinners, and the cruelty of those who murder them. RJ can't sympathize with sinners and their plight given how much he hates them and feels he's not like them. Not unless he goes through what they all collectively do. Not unless he has to face off against the Exorcists directly. It's not just about making him have the worst luck ever. It's about giving him a means to see humanity again in the sinners that he's come to despise so quickly.
It also presents him with stakes and a ticking clock. He's experienced Extermination himself. He knows how awful it is. Before he thought he had time to figure out an escape. Now he knows there is no time, no time at all. For anyone. Hence the choice of the chapter song "For Whom the Bell Tolls" a song about the inevitability of the end.
To better associate RJ's experience with the collective trauma of his fellow sinners, RJ has to have a specific personification of the event. That being, Green Eyes, the Angel that tries to kill him. Depicting her malice, as well as the subsequent chase scene, required me to really place you in RJ's headspace. Properly convey his terror and awareness of just how awful a time he was in for. That no matter where he goes, how far he runs, he cannot shake Green Eyes. He just gets lucky at the end, because his helmet ends up shocking her and giving him a second to fight her off.
Green Eyes is also something of a collaborative effort with Crow. But to say more would involve spoilers that are well in advance of what I'm willing to share with you all today. Just remember, Green Eyes is out there, and she's not done with RJ, as you likely spotted in Chapter 4.
After all that, RJ finally reaches the despair event horizon. So broken down and ruined by his short time in Hell. He hates it here. He has no friends, no family, no support. And it seems like his only escape is a second death. And that just hits him in the gut. It deeply wounds him, to know that he's trapped here, doomed to be stuck in Hell, with people he hates and a shadow of death looming over him all the same.
It's a horrible situation to be stuck in. Some have even wondered if RJ was contemplating ending it himself in fact. I don't think he was, but he was dreading the prospect that it may have been the only way. Thankfully, he picked up on Charlie's song. And that broke him out of his stupor. Because if someone else out there is hurting just as much as him, maybe, just maybe, he has someone he can confide in, someone who will at least take him in. So he won't be alone. If there's one great fear RJ has, and this will come up a lot, it's being alone.
I probably should've eased up on RJ by this point, but it wouldn't be Hazbin Hotel if RJ just met Charlie in a normal manner. No, he had to get run over, just to add one small extra bit of comedic pain before he sees the true light at the end of his tunnel, Charlie Morningstar herself. And even though, at this point, it had been mostly an introduction, it felt like this was the perfect time to end the chapter. As RJ was safe, sound and in the arms of a friend. So readers could relax, but also want to see what was about to happen next.
Adapting the Pilot: The Hazbin Hotel pilot is something that's a bit tricky to pin down for a lot of folks in the fandom. Some actually prefer its art style over the final product. Others question just how much of it is still Canon. I'm mostly annoyed that, if I want to watch the entire story of season one, I have to go on YouTube and then Amazon just to see it. Maybe they'll redo the pilot some day to make it line up directly with Canon, but that's probably not as important. Helluva Boss' pilot is far more misaligned with its final product than Hazbin's pilot. What changed there was generally some voices, the relations of a few of the characters, and apparently Lucifer was supposed to be a bigger jerk.
Given most of what we see in the pilot is still what happened, and RJ being thrown into the mix means it's displaced from Canon anyway, I decided to just follow what happened in the pilot more or less. You can probably guess that Katie Killjoy's dialogue is more in-line with her persona from the pilot. Brandon Rogers is a funny guy and I love his work, but I still hear the original Katie Killjoy's voice when I see her. Something about it just fits better with the design. I of course ramped up her abuse of Tom Trench, because it felt like that was just in-line with who she is as a character. Other than that I kept most everything the same. Save for the things related to RJ.
The interview was, in my mind, important in setting up RJ's shared failure alongside Charlie at the studio. That he really wasn't ready for this and probably should've been more adamant about that. But he didn't want to disappoint Charlie, so he went along with it. And it blew up in his face. Frankly, it probably would've no matter what he did, even if he was prepared. He could've guessed someone filmed his entry into Hell. The whole thing. And then sent it off to get disseminated throughout Hell's media landscape. In a relatively short span of time mind you.
And yes, the identity of who made the video is a plot point.
Another important bit in this chapter, establishing RJ will take part in the musical numbers. Songs in a text format are always tricky to do. It's essentially just writing poems into your narrative. There's no music, there's no melody, there's no tune, there's no voice, there's no sound. You have to guess at what is being sung and how it is reacting. It can be done, but you have to work harder to better capture the flow of the song. Thankfully, since music is so easy to look up these days, people can just search for some of these songs for themselves. Especially "Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow", and then just play it alongside the actions within the text.
I still have to do my best to properly relay the lyrics and the flow of the singing, but I think I'm doing at least a decent job of it so far.
The other part of this chapter was better detailing character dynamics. Suffice to say, who RJ gets along with and who he does not. Vaggie and Charlie are obviously easy enough for him to start liking. Angel though, not so much. Mainly because his actions hurt a friend of his and Angel refuses to apologize for any of it. So of course he lashes out at the spider. And this animosity remains. I was honestly a bit worried, given how heated they both can get, how much fans of Angel Dust would dislike RJ for being mean to him. So I felt the need to properly establish that Angel doesn't do much to sell himself as a good person to our dragon hero. It's why I had him go through most of his original dialogue to start off with. If Angel does not give a good first impression, it's easier for RJ's response, once he butts in, to feel more reasonable. To RJ, Angel is taking advantage of Charlie's good nature and that pisses him off. Both morally and personally.
At the same time, I wanted to better connect RJ and Charlie together beyond just her being nice to him. Which was why I had them share an extended moment at that door, just talking with each other. They shared in their collective failure, accepting it, trying to support one another. If not make it better, than at least not make it as bad. It's a cute, nice moment that properly sells why RJ likes Charlie and why Charlie does enjoy RJ being here, beyond just him supporting her hotel because it seems like his option.
Alastor was a different dynamic altogether. Obviously, RJ doesn't like him, but unlike Angel, Alastor doesn't care as much nor is he particularly concerned with pissing RJ off in kind. He already knows he's more powerful than the dragon, that stings enough. He doesn't really need to worry about him too much, nor should he. All Alastor wants is for RJ to stay out of his way. The extent of what he does to him is mainly just keeping the dragon in his place, nothing more or less. Alastor doesn't strike me as someone who takes on many vendettas and is above general rivalry. Why should he care that this dragon doesn't like him? He's a nobody and doesn't figure into his plans. Although, as revealed later, that can change and he does keep tabs on all potential tools at his disposal.
Niffty and Husk are a bit more tougher to pin down at this point, but things get more interesting as RJ actually interacts with them more. Particularly with Niffty, but also with Husk, and I'll go over their dynamics as we go through these chapters overall.
Introducing Helluva Boss Characters: The Flight of Icarus chapter was mostly comedic as well as properly laying out Vaggie and RJ's friendship dynamic. Vaggie and RJ have a lot of scenes together, in the first six and future chapters, just talking with one another more or less. The general spark of their friendship is here though. I think it's important to set them up as a pair of realists, but on different levels. RJ isn't as self-assured and confident as Vaggie is. in a lot of respects, they're very alike, which is why they mesh together so well. They may face different problems and have different attitudes concerning their more critical attitudes in comparison to Charlie, but they compliment one another. Even if RJ is a bit more prone to being a goofball whereas Vaggie remains fairly serious at all times.
But the main objective of this chapter, outside of setting up Vaggie and RJ's dynamic, was properly illustrating to people that characters from across the Hellaverse will make appearances here. Striker just happened to be the first because it made sense. It was a means of introducing RJ to the Hellborn side of the universe, as well as gaining him a more direct and a present antagonist.
Plus, I got to drop RJ into a Western Saloon, accomplishing another of my goals for this project, expanding the Hellaverse out a little. Currently, Pentagram City is very loosely defined in terms of size and districts. We're told there are a lot of Overlords, but we only see a few. We know there's Sinners from all across history, but we don't always focus on them. So, I figured it would be interesting to see the sinners in environments that felt familiar to them. A dark reflection of their mortal lives if you will.
That's the great thing about the Hellaverse, really, I have a general sense of freedom to write any sort of scenario I want to. Hell has a variety of locations, environments, aesthetics and people to mix and match with. I'm not tied to a singular mood or setting as much as other stories. I have more opportunities to just go wild. And to touch on more genres than just a few of the obvious crossover ones.
Striker himself was hard to pin down. Primarily because it seems a lot of people have differing opinions on him. Is he a badass rebel against the upper class of Hell? Or just a selfish egotistical hypocrite? A capable antagonist? Or a blundering idiot? I feel it's more accurate to say Striker has legitimate grievances, but he's out for himself more than anyone. And the nature of being an antagonist means, well, he has to fail more than he wins. So naturally the more he shows up, the more he loses, the more his mystique falls off. Mostly though, I just wanted to present him accurately. It took a few watches of the show, and a lot of Wikipedia entry scrolling, to pin down a consistent character, separated from a lot of the fandom interpretations. Currently, I'm very comfortable with it.
Funny thing, I did run into a few people asking who would win in a fight between Vaggie and Striker while I was writing the chapter. It was interesting to see people think Vaggie would have a tougher time. I disagreed, I felt like being a trained soldier of Heaven gave Vaggie the edge over an outlaw assassin. Even if she believed she couldn't be hurt. All the same, I tried to present them as evenly matched and that RJ and Vaggie mostly just survived their encounter with the Imp more than outright won.
I was pleasantly pleased though that Striker uses his tail so much, as it gave an excuse for RJ's Tail to go at him a little. I like having RJ's Tail be such a dynamic character in its own right. It's important for me, when a character has unique biology, to present that biology often. To display it. To have it reveal something unique about how that character interacts with the world. It's a lesson I try to live up to. Which is why RJ's Tail is always doing something in every chapter.
One line I'm very proud of is RJ just acknowledging how much cooler everyone is than him. It just highlights his frustration while also denoting that he somewhat admires the other characters' abilities. This includes Vaggie, he's jealous, but it's an admiringly kind of jealous.
Striker will of course return, I just hope people won't think I'm making him too much of an idiot in any of them, I want him to remain a threat, even as RJ grows in power and ability. Because I like my bad guys to be dangerous... even if goofy shit happens to him. Which will, because its the Hellaverse, goofy shit happens, no matter what you may claim otherwise.
Extending the Musical Number: Adapting the first episode was a challenge. I wanted to keep Charlie storybook in things, but without it ruining the moment Vaggie and Charlie share together either. So I just set it during the night before and gave it a different purpose, helping RJ understand the lore of Hell and the plight of Hellborn as much as Sinner. It's a subject I feel like the show hasn't touched as much on due to the fact both shows tackle the separate topics on their own and it would somewhat dilute things if the characters had to keep cutting in to remind people of how bad one or the other side has it. The truth is, Sinners, Imps and Hellhounds all have it pretty shitty and get the worst end of the stick. Pretending that one's suffering is worse than other is ridiculous.
But try to remember, only one side is periodically hunted annually. The other side is just dealing with systemic issues, not external genocide. Both have it rough, one has a target on their back. Again, this is a subject that will come up routinely in the chapters.
For the most part this chapter is about RJ coming to terms with the fact he still hates Hell. And learning that Heaven might not be much better leadership wise once he meets Adam. For now, he's stuck in Hell and he has to learn to deal with that, accept it, and try to reconcile the fact he wants to leave with the fact he's trying to leave it better than how he found it. As well as exiting his comfort zone to help a friend when she's feeling down.
Besides building on that connection Charlie and RJ forged, the main element of this chapter that I wanted to get right was RJ joining in on the musical number of "A Happy Day in Hell." I knew I didn't want RJ to be a passive observer in the musical bits. I know it's a classic joke to have a character bewildered by spontaneous musical numbers. But honestly, I've already done that and it's much more impressive in my mind if a character just accepts it and goes with it at some point.
The problem was giving RJ some decent lyrics to match Charlie's. Lyrics that not only rhymed, but matched the flow and tune of the song itself. That way it wouldn't look out of place. I had some leeway with RJ not being as good a singer as Charlie, but I still needed it to sound nice when you sung his words to the tune of the original song. I thank Crow for helping me with that, since he seems to have a better understanding of this sorta thing. I enjoyed working through the song, making the words match better, until we got the final version which I think is pretty on point with the tune. I could certainly hear it being sung in an extended version of the song itself. Who knows, maybe someone will sing it and create an animatic of RJ singing his bits. Probably not, but I can dream.
Since he's here, I might as well talk about Adam. I honestly wonder why anyone tries to make him out to be misunderstood, or not the bad guy in this show. That he's actually in the right and that the storybook was clearly biased against him. RJ himself is a little skeptical, although he doesn't show it. If you picked up on his wariness over outright confirming or agreeing with the events in the book, good on you. But much of that skepticism is pretty much erased when RJ meets Adam and he's exactly as the book claimed. I legitimately don't get how anyone can think the book isn't at least being honest about who Adam is. He's awful! And that's the point. Heaven letting this guy in just because he's the first man and not really questioning it suggests that the system by which Sinners and Winners are sorted is flawed in some way.
If anything this confirms to RJ that he got mistakenly put here. That something is clearly wrong and him getting to Heaven will correct said mistake. Because seriously, if you met a person like Adam, who is a sexist, womanizing, obnoxious asshole, who freely admits he kills Sinners for fun and STILL call him the good guy? Come on, man. Charlie might be a little naive when it comes to how things work, but she's never claimed that sinners aren't here without reason. She just wants them to get a second chance. That's considerably more Christian than anything Adam is spouting.
So yeah, RJ... does not like Adam and with very good reason.
I should also note, Crow suggested Green Eyes being in the room among the other golden Exorcists. Although they are likely holograms themselves, but still... nice to remind people she's around again.
The Opium Den: The next chapter was designed to start to better explore RJ's deep seated issues with himself, as well as peel back the layers of the headset's mystery. Clearly something is wrong with it, RJ keeps seeing hallucinations with it, he ended up getting transported into Vox and Alastor's little broadcast feud somehow, and his body went on autopilot as it tore through a ton of Sinners without him.
I also drew out the scene where Niffty is mesmerized by RJ's Tail stirring the batter. That was a fun bit to do.
Obviously I can't explain what happened with RJ somehow connecting to Vox's broadcast as well as Alastor's radio frequency. Not without spoilers. Same with what happens while he's experiencing all that as his body goes on a rampage. But I really liked how it helped highlight that RJ is not a perfect protagonist. He screws up, he messes up, he gets things wrong and that's important. Because RJ will have wins, but the losses are just as important in setting up his character. He needs to fail in order for his wins to have weight. And not all his wins can be straight forward either, as what he needs may be different from what he wants.
In this case, the failure to get more residents from the Opium Den triggers RJ's fear that if he is not useful, if he becomes a liability, if he does not do something worthwhile to prove why he's here, his friends will abandon him. Or worse, they will come to hate him. This is a deep insecurity that is always nagging at RJ's mind. That if he can't do good for the people who did good by him, he's no good. Which is probably why he keeps insisting he's a good person, why he gets so riled up by Alastor and Angel suggesting he's not here for pure reasons. That ultimately, he's a failure and a waste of space. That he doesn't want to be redeemed, he just wants people to think he's worth being around.
Really, a lot of this chapter is setting up what comes in the very next one. probably because, originally, I had intended to adapt the second episode as a single chapter. But we were going long, I had to give what happened in next time to breath, and honestly, it was for the best given the results.
Charlie Gets Mad: This chapter was critical. As much as I wanted Charlie and RJ to get along, I needed to make it very clear that their relationship was not based on her being a quirky little cutie pie who just magically solves all his problems. Because she has dreams of her own, aspirations of her own, and RJ needs to respect that if he hopes to get anywhere. Part of that came down to RJ being confronted with the fact he's not always so good. He's human, even if he doesn't look it anymore. And that means he makes very human mistakes.
RJ and Angel have been at odds since they met, so it made sense for RJ to use Angel's discomfort at Sir Pentious being around and better liked in comparison to him to his advantage. He wasn't overly cruel, no, but he clearly enjoyed sticking the needle in repeatedly. Maybe you can claim it was warranted given what Angel has done to him, but it was still petty. Especially when RJ agreed with Angel and just didn't say anything, partially to not upset Charlie, mostly though to just take shots at Angel.
And when confronted with this by Angel, in a very heated argument I might add, which was difficult to write as I had to represent both sides effectively without making one or the other look more right, sets RJ off. Because he hates Angel having a point and is forced to try and fix what he now sees as a shitty thing he did. Not being honest with Charlie.
But he screws that up too, because he doesn't explain it right and implies that Charlie is too stupid to see the obvious. And that's where the real meat of the chapter comes into play. Charlie confronts RJ with a good deal of his flaws, particularly him thinking he already deserves to be in Heaven and that there's nothing he needs to improve on. That even if he doesn't mean to, he comes off as acting superior to everyone and he can't keep placing his redemption as suddenly more valuable than others. That just because he is a good person doesn't mean he doesn't have bad in him too that he could correct.
This argument was actually Crow's favorite scene by the way, mainly because of how real it felt.
The point of this scene was a bit of personal commentary. I am not a fan of the way some folks interpret Charlie's worldview. That she's stupid, or ignorant, or sheltered, that she doesn't understand WHY people go to Hell. That she wants to just send everyone up to Heaven, regardless of their crimes. That she should be okay with Sinners getting murdered wholesale and just focus on the Hellborn. All of this is bullshit. Charlie's problem isn't nativity, so much as it's sacrificing herself too much for others. Is she naive? In some ways yes. But she never once claims that Sinners should get a free pass to Heaven. She wants them to Earn it and only if they are truly repentant and want to be good. She isn't trying to get pedophiles or rapists to Heaven here. She's trying to get Sinners who WANT to change and WANT to be better. Or at least convince Sinners they should aspire to be better.
Her philosophy boils down to this: If a Sinner decides they have done wrong, is sorry, regrets their actions and works towards redeeming themselves in order to be a better person... they should be allowed to go to Heaven. That's it. It's that simple. She doesn't want to send Sinners to Heaven if they're faking it, and it seems they can't get there if they fake it anyway, she doesn't claim Sinners have never done anything wrong. She believes in reform, not punishment. That's all. And it's surprising to me how many people seem to be against the concept of reform. I'd like to ask their opinion on the Death Penalty personally, because that's essentially what the Exorcists do.
Now RJ isn't nearly that bad, he does believe the Extermination is wrong. But Charlie does earnestly ask him if he thinks any of the other Sinners deserve their chance to go to Heaven themselves. And not just Sinners who are like him, who thinks they're here by mistake. But Sinners who don't want to be redeemed at first or aren't perfect good people. Charlie cares for all of them. She wants to help them so long as they reach out to her for help. And maybe not all are genuine, maybe not all of them are perfect, and many of them will fail a lot before they succeed. But Charlie cares about them, she cares a lot, because someone has to. Especially when said Sinners don't care enough about themselves. They need someone to believe in them before they can believe in themselves.
That's Charlie.
That's the lesson of "It Starts with Sorry", that's it's point. That Sorry isn't the end point of the journey, it's the start! It's how you begin fixing yourself. You admit you did wrong, you apologize, and you take from there. You recognize that you've hurt another person and you want to make amends. It's not called "Sorry is all it Takes." The song is "It Starts with Sorry." Keyword... START.
And once RJ realizes this, then he himself can start to heal and be better.
Crow was a bit concerned RJ not helping Angel out due to his on set of depression would make people hate or dislike him. So I rewrote it to better relay my reasoning. That RJ knows he should help Angel, but he can't, because in that moment he feels like a failure who only hurts people. That he can't fix himself, so why bother pretending he's good anymore? When Angel tells him he's not a joke... that gives RJ the motivation to help. An acknowledgement that he is needed in this moment and so he does help. I think it's a good expression of how depression can paralyze someone. That they know what they want to do, but they can't. And that's sadly what RJ was going through.
A quick aside, "Say Anything" is actually not as bad as all the parodies claim it is. That boombox scene is not a stalker. The actual context is the male character is already in a relationship with the female character and he is trying to convince her that he really does love her. He's not a stalker trying to convince a girl who doesn't know him to go out with him like some think. I still made the joke anyway because I felt I needed to call attention to it for RJ's apology. As well as his song, which took a while to get right since it was a lot more extensive than last time, basically rewriting the entire thing. Again, thanks to Crow for helping me get it right.
This chapter also revealed that RJ's headset has more functions. Specifically a quest log detailing all the things he's done, or at least the major ones. You'll see this quest log updated from time to time, although I do sometimes worry if it becomes intrusive. Let me know how you guys feel about it, as I'm probably going to do intermission chapters at some point to properly detail everything concerning RJ's headset tabs when they all become unlocked. Quests included.
Anyway, that's most everything for now. I'm gonna get back to playing some more Heretic! Look for more story behind the scenes blogs in the future!
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